Jake Wired Shut

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"They said talk is cheap. But dental work? That’s expensive." 🦷💸

Wear the silence. This is the official merchandise for the viral anthem that humbled the "Problem Child."

This isn't just a t-shirt; it's a receipt for the karma the world has been waiting for.

  • The Front: Features the iconic, gritty "Blender & Bolts" artwork—capturing the exact moment the trash talk stopped.

  • The Back: The full lyrical indictment. We printed the receipts (lyrics) right on your spine, signed officially by Russell Nomer Music.

Doctor's Orders: 🩺 Recommended for anyone tired of the hype. Wear this to the gym, the bar, or anywhere you want to remind people that you can't go down on a supermodel when you eat through a straw.



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