FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Renowned "Hypnotic Tailed Headshrinker" Opens New Practice for Internet Obsessions
Dateline: PLAINVIEW, N.Y. — Jan 10, 2026
In response to the global epidemic of spam emails, unsolicited LinkedIn DMs, and general digital exhaustion, a new mental health facility has officially opened its branches. Literally.
Dr. Sigmund Fraud, a woodland-based practitioner with questionable credentials and a prickly demeanor, announced today the launch of his private practice at
Unlike traditional therapists who charge hundreds of dollars an hour, Dr. Fraud operates on a strict "acorn-based" economy. His methodology, known as "Hypnotic Tail Therapy," promises to shock patients out of their repetitive behaviors—specifically targeting those suffering from Chronic Cold-Calling Syndrome and Reply-All Anxiety.
"Out on a limb where the shadows grow long, sits a squirrel who's heard every loser's sad song," read a statement issued from the hollow of his tree
When asked for comment regarding his licensure, Dr. Fraud took a long pull from his glass and stated, "My fee is cracked corn and nuts I can chew on, not the ones I treat. If you have a problem, climb the tree. If you don’t, get off my lawn."
The practice is currently accepting walk-ins, though patients are advised that the doctor is often "in a mood."
About Dr. Sigmund Fraud: Dr. Fraud is a satirical, AI-generated personality specializing in shock-value advice. He is currently the world’s leading expert on being a squirrel with a cowboy hat.
Media Contact:
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